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We have no ‘’HonDocProf’’ here

The night was windy with thunderstorms accompanied by lightning, suddenly everything intensified, there was mayhem in the outskirts of “Owuo Fie” cemetery of which I Bawa Donkor managed. It rained quite heavy that Friday evening that the mortuary was soaked with water, I grumbled in anger talking to myself “I have lodged complaints with “Oga” to mend this leaking roof several times hmmm this my “oga dier”. Tomorrow is Saturday and a very busy day for me since several families would be coming for their corpses for burial, preparing for this task tomorrow wasn’t easy and the heavy rain has done its worst flooding the entire floor doubling job for me. Anyway, that’s my job.

Bawa Donkor popularly known as “Owuo Danfuo” an Ashanti extraction meaning The friend of the dead, was in charge of the “Owuo Fie” mortuary in the Accra Teaching hospital, this mortuary was always overloaded because of the wide area it served.

Bawa had to work throughout that night and preparing bodies for burial the next day, working with the dead for over 9years for Bawa made him have a different perspective of life hence is always shocked to see humans living in pride and arrogance.

It was a Monday morning a free day for Bawa, he took shelter in “Brewuhuasi” spot with his Sonic radio, this was a present given him by the hospital council with other presents for his hard work and dedication to service on the annual Hospital Celebration. The country song by John Williams musical interlude was stopped with series of announcements, he grumbled and seemed not interested in the news but at the mention of Emeritus Professor Pascal Twang he listened with much attention, the professor mentioned will be visiting Goodness Hotel for a forum of which he is the special guest of honor on Wednesday and the rate was free. Bawa was happy because Wednesday would be a less busy day for him more also the opportunity of seeing Professor Pascal is a rare opportunity for menials like him, Professor Pascal was a highly respected man in the country who once led the country as a Governor.

He is currently ranked one of the richest in Africa, he owns the largest Private University in the country and has anchored the affairs zealously earning him the title Emeritus Professor. The speech delivered was great and the crowd rose to their feet amidst loud appellations and claps as the emeritus professor took his seat, soon the ceremony was over and everyone wished to have a handshake and a photograph with Emeritus professor, I was no exception, Sir, I yelled at the professor from a distance he turned to my direction because my voice was too loud all eyes were fixed on me and sudden fear gripped me I extended my hand to greet his lordship emeritus professor only to be pulled aside by a tick tall heavily built macho man, his action brought shame on me in the crowd it was later known to me that man was the personal bodyguard to Emeritus professor hmm I bowed my head in shame anyway it might be true I was prevented from greeting because of how I dressed, but that was the best I could put up, Bawa walked home in happiness despite what was seen as a disgrace to him getting the chance to see Emeritus meant a lot to him.

Weeks passed and it was drawing closer to the end of year, December has always been seen as festive for most people especially the Christians since they would be celebrating the birth of Christ Jesus, Bawa saw this month on contrary it was, in fact, the busiest month for him because December has always recorded many deaths that meant much work for him. He sat in the open enjoying the cool breeze of cold air with his Sonic radio it was a celebrity talk show and the way that actress talked baffled him as if she ruled the world of beauty hmm, was it not last year by this time that the former beauty queen of Excellence modeling agency laid in FFM 001(Female Fridge 001) with her smelling and lifeless wrinkled face at my disposal “chai” what a world. The staff common room for junior nurses wasn’t that far from where he sat suddenly he heard load noise and had to rush there to see for himself what was happening, The red italicized  inscription “BREAKING NEWS” on the “Gaana Television”  meant something of grave importance had happened, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing Emeritus Professor Dead astonished with this news I heard the cry of an ambulance from a distance I figured out that it must be the remains of Emeritus professor, I quickly kept on my apron and waited my guess was right, the ambulance faced it back and reversed towards the entrance I raised my hand and stopped the driver telling him the placement was ok I felt like the boss, I was the boss of corpses though haha I laughed silently low and behold without any body guard preventing me I called my boys Yaw and Safo to draw the bed nearer that was me “Owuo Danfuo” lifting the body of Emeritus professor on the moving bed, my boss and some ministers of state were present I told them please wait outside whiles I go in to prepare the body to be frozen, hahahaa that was me again commanding my boss and some ministers of state thus life you know….

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We quickly prepared the body of Pascal Twang and dumped it in MF 009(Male Fridge 001) I sat outside since the large crowd that accompanied the remains of Pascal Twang all retired to their respective homes I took a deep breath and pondered,

I guess you know what I was thinking off?

And you know why I choose to call that lifeless body Pascal Twang? I have my policy We have no persons by name “HONDOCPROF” (HONORABLE  DOCTOR PROFESSOR) here in my office.

News soon filled the city of ” Akraa” about the death and funeral arrangements of Pascal Twang it was a Thursday evenings and the funeral was slated for that Saturday, the city was filled with quest from all over the world being friends and sympathizers of Pascal Twang, there was this pressure from administration on me I wanted that corpse to be taken away from here now, because I made quite a fortune of bounty from it. Relatives passed by each day and when leaving gave me not less than a thousand Ghana cedis for taking good care of their beloved. In fact the money I made during this period could feed my family for greater part of 10years, this earning was soon to be cut short when I saw the latest model of Toyota V8 drove into my garage and office I called it, that was the family of Pascal Twang, it was a Friday evening they handed over expensive suit white in color with golden bottoms caretaker Madam said we will come for Emeritus Professor tomorrow morning I asked madam you mean Pascal Twang right? She frowned and nodded some cash was handed me in an envelope to buy my best service on their corpse this was my other means of income and it paid a lot if only the corpse was from a rich family just like this one, the car sped off then I sat down to value the clothes of this thing to my astonishment the price tag indicated that the suit cost 9500000 US dollars I wasn’t good in interpreting this amount in Gaana cedis but I knew within it was a lot of money, I said to myself is this necessary??

Time moved faster than I thought it was Saturday morning already by the early hours of 6 am expensive cars suddenly started trooping in the yard I set to work preparing the dead body of Pascal Twang, I laughed with my boys looking and the big belly with very small “Peniis” of Pascal Twang hitting the body hard on the floor to take off the caked ice of him was tough we had to soak the body in warm water for awhile. It was fifteen minutes to nine and my whole office garage was filled with vehicles my boss called me out and asked about our progress on the body I replied we had finished with it. Right on time it was nine on the dot, and a long white limousine drove in, it was the family my boys directed the car to right placement and I went in to bring out the body of Pascal Twang, hurry up yelled a voice and that voice sounded familiar I went out and low and behold it was that man I mean Pascal Twang special bodyguard you remember? The one who pulled me off the crowd preventing me from greeting him, we are here for the body of Emeritus Professor Pascal Twang I looked him straight in the eyes with hope he remembers me and told him directly to the hearing of all gathered around” Mr. I HAVE NO PERSON BY NAME EMERITUS PROFESSOR IN MY OFFICE”……….


Moral Extraction



HUMAN Beings have no value at death if only during their period of life, lived a life of arrogance and pride, there are many in  ” Gaana” and the world at large who thinks that they are superior to others hence demean “menials”. You know and might even be a victim of this notion of superiority,

You think you are beautiful or handsome therefore must be worshipped and bowed down before…… Nonsense!!

You think you are rich and powerful as such see others as subordinates…..Mediocrity

These are just but few facets of real-life situations people exhibit pride and arrogance.

We can only value a dead body if it lived a life worthy of emulation thus a life devoid of pride, prominence, pomposity, greed arrogance to mention but a few. Pride they usually say “goeth” before a fall. It’s high time we see each other as brothers and equals passing through life.

There Is this notion which says currency coins make most noise but is of less value to the notes silent yet of immense value so if you think your”ego” has risen maintain your silence and go about your activities in Peace.

To whom much Is given, much is expected.

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